I AM NOT DEAD

Okay, it has officially been 1 year since I have posted anything on this blog. I sincerely apologize for the devastating inconvenience of not being able to read a bunch of crap that has no meaning whatsoever (my writing). It has been a rough year. Wait, let me rephrase that… it has been a crappy, awful, stupid, sucky year. I could go on with a list of synonyms but I think you got the gist.

So here I am. I’m back *horrified screams in the distance*. I know, I know, don’t get too excited.

Lately, I have been passing the hours by binge watching Netflix and shoving Goldfish down my throat (wow, okay, so I meant Goldfish Crackers, but the visual that just brought up was just too good to edit out). Does that make me pathetic? Or normal? Or if that’s considered normal, is society pathetic? Ugh, screw it. I don’t give a damn. Pathetic or not, Netflix is my passion and I am not ashamed. Well, maybe a little bit. I mean, a couple of days ago, I was watching The Office on my laptop and I had been decapitating a bunch of  leftover chocolate Santas and when I got up to go to the bathroom, I accidentally looked in the mirror and Oh. Dear. God. I screamed. My reflection was a combination of Einstein and Jabba the Hutt. But the most frightening part of this story is that I just went right back to ruthlessly murdering chocolate Santas and binge watching Netflix. Lesson of the story: don’t look in the mirror.

I will write again soon. I just wanted to let all of the hundreds of millions of dedicated, lovely readers and supporters I have know that I am not dead (hence the title) and that I have not forgotten to share my words of wisdom and knowledge. Ha. Okay, I’ll stop now.

Thank you! I will try to read the blogs of the people who support me!

Emily

 

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